Time Expander travel tip #1: Insert a new row in the top of your todo list. That’s right above “Don’t forget the friggin’ passports !” and “Remember the kids !”. After you’ve done this – then write down the following (ad verbatim) in capital letters (extra cudos for using phosphorescent ink).
“FOR CHRIST’S SAKE ! CLEAN OUT THE CAT BOWL BEFORE LEAVING FOR A TWO VEEK VACATION TO SPAIN !”
What you see in the picture above is a member of the Rhizopus genus that has undergone a 14 day pure protein diet. It’s quite aggressive – stretching towards the camera with blistering spore sacks that are just waiting to explode in a massive cloud if it senses the tiniest vibration in the surrounding air volume.
I approached this particular specimen in much the same way as Agent Cormac would a nanomycelium in a Neal Asher novel.
The tactical manual for dealing with this kind of extreme biohazard gives the following piece of advice:
a) Hold your breath. You won’t be around long enough to claim that you didn’t inhale…
b) Retreat slowly to get your favourite hazmat suit.
c) Plant a small anti matter device in the near vicinity.
d) Activate the timer on the device.
e) Exit quietly by the back door. Run like hell and hail a taxi to take you to the nearest space port.
f) Cross your fingers and pray to God that the spaceport security personell aren’t on strike.